Moving On

Written on 11-10-17 and 11-16-17

The last day. April 1st, 2003-November 16th, 2017. Roughly 14 years, 6 months and 23 days. AKA 5,313 days. Only a bit of time. I never expected this day to come. As the date approached, I expected something to fall through. Something bad to happen just like all the other houses had. Now, on the eve of our departure, it's finally starting to sink in. A new chapter of my life starts tomorrow; a brand
new beginning.

       I'll miss the house, man. 14 1/2 years spent dwelling in it's comforting rooms, 13 winters spent sledding by day, and curling up next to the wood-stove by night. 14 summers enjoying the nature that surrounded my siblings and I. Times relaxing on the porch, shaded under the umbrella; or flying high in our rickety old swing set. Those things are gone now, but their memories will always be a part of me, no matter where I am on life's journey.

      I'll miss my bedroom- the solitude and comfort unmatched- with many a stuffed animal reenactment. I'll miss the schoolroom; hours spent talking to strangers, then to friends. The battles against my brother, meme competitions with my sister, the faithful hum of my computer never
ceasing; (unless it broke) staying resolute.

      I'll miss the new-years eve parties with close friends. Hours upon hours of board games, ratty old console titles, popping open a bottle of sparkling cider to celebrate the start of something new. I'll miss the feeling of community and safety knowing I would always have a home here. I'll miss late-night text conversations with my best friend. Sprawled out on my bed, feeling at peace with myself as I typed away, holding nothing back. Being happy, something I might never exactly feel again. Sure, things change; people move on, but I will never truly leave this house.

      I had the pleasure of going on a walk tonight. A path traveled many times by me and my folks; sometimes altogether, other times alone. Tonight I was alone. In the pressing fog and near-pitch darkness, I walked. Retracing my steps from when I was a baby, then a toddler, then a kid, to finally now, a 14-year old teenager. Memories flashed before my eyes as I continued my journey. Good times, bad times, and some times where I'm not quite sure what happened. I felt as if I went back in time, remembering moments I had long-since forgotten.

       I could sense tears about to make an appearance, especially when walking by my childhood landmarks. On each street I passed on my return, I would stand resolute, facing the road. I silently thanked God for the opportunity to know these amazing people, and moved on. I finally reached my street. I slowly walked around our cul-de-sac, pausing briefly in front of each house in a state of sadness and faithfulness. I knew each family on that street, spent time with all of them as they watched me grow, knowing that I would likely never see them again. With my eyes stinging, I turned to the final house, my home. Words failed. An overcoming rush of emotion surged through me, desperately trying to break through. I would not let it. I must stay strong. So, after taking one last mental picture, I slowly walked up the driveway and entered my house.

      My biggest regret.A walk through the unknown, dubbed the great adventure. Discovered many years back, it was a getaway in times of trouble, and a vast journey to undertake. I wish with all my heart that I could traipse through the woods one last time with my friend who found it with me.

      So, one chapter draws to a close, and a new chapter springs forth. I'm taking a leap of faith, knowing that my friends are there to catch me if I don't make it. Memories fade, good times are forgotten,so remember to treasure what you have and never let it go.

Late Night Lamentations #2

11:30pm 11-6-17

Friends are great. Even if they don't know what you're struggling with, they will always support you no matter what. Friends can also cheer you up better than any family member. Say I'm having an awful day for some odd reason. I can just send one text to one friend on my phone and she'll almost always respond and make my day better

        It's friends like that who make life good. So always talk to your friends, especially if you or they are feeling down. Because like I said, one small text or communication can lift your spirits exponentially and create a feeling that not many bad things are able to replace.

       Make it so that you can always rely on your friends, and your friends can always rely on you. Even if you're not sharing your deepest secrets with him/her, a basic level of trust is needed and greatly appreciated.

      I text a lot. Sure, it may just be with one person, and sure, I may text too much, but some of my fondest memories come from staying up late, talking and really bad puns. People say phones are bad, but the accesibility to communicate by far outweighs the negatives, at least in my case. Especially when I'm too young to drive and see my friends, I know they're only a text away. Sometimes one text conversation with my best friend can give me a whole new outlook on life, and encourage me to stay positive and achieve my dreams. Such is the power of friendship.

Late Night Rambling

Life would be so much easier if everyone wore their hearts on their sleeves. Sure, people would be ashamed, sad, criticized, and vulnerable, but our world would be so much more simple.

       Think: You have a crush, and you beat yourself up about it by wondering if she (in my case) likes you, or if she likes someone else. It consumes your entire being (trust me it happens) and you can't stop obsessing over it. If people were open with their feelings, then you would know exactly what they were dealing with, and it would save both of you time and energy. Granted, it might cause a mild case of heart break, but you'll get over it. At least you did with the other 15 or so girls you liked.

All I'm sayin is this: Don't hide your feelings. Maybe don't actually go around telling everyone your deepest secrets, but be transparent with what you say and do so that people know you can trust them and that they can trust you. That's one reason why I don't really bother to hide my dislike of people when I first meet them.
       "But Joe!" People say.
 "That's so unfair to judge people like that! You don't know their life story!"
And to that, I say "Tru, you right."
While you shouldn't judge people so fast, I've found it's easier not to pretend you like some you don't, then to pretend you like someone who you don't. If I have no intention of becoming friends with those people, they should be aware  so neither of us pretend to like each other. Because, odds are, he/she doesn't like me either. That's it for my 11pm journal rant. Kbye